Empathy and Apathy

Strange bedfellows often fighting for my benefit.

I’ve always been an empath, perhaps not as keenly as some, and more so than others. Feeling what someone else is going through is often psychological and emotional, but more rarely it also has physical effects on me. I can borrow fatigue, frustration, sorrow, and pain easily. Perhaps it speaks of the life I’ve led up until now, but absorbing positive energy (which would be preferable) is more difficult for me than drawing upon the shared negative experiences of humanity.

The world is a big, complex, often dangerous place. People, whether they mean good or ill to those around them, are the cause. Empathy could be a bridge to peace, finding common ground and working in unity towards a shared positive future, but sadly it seems few are able to endure this world with their empathy intact. Although appearances, even in that regard, may be misleading.

Apathy is always looming close at hand, eager to fill the void when my endurance flags and I can’t bear the weight of those around me any longer. I wouldn’t wish harm on others, but apathy frankly doesn’t spend the energy to care. Empathy will remind me to grieve my deplorable behavior in hindsight, lead me to make amends, and try to rebuild the damage caused by my previous lack of concern.

Turning my emotions off and dealing from a position of cold calculating logic can be useful, especially when it comes to hard decisions, but shouldn’t that be when empathy is most essential? If during the hard times we chose the even more troublesome path of understanding those around us rather than serving our self first and most ardently, we’d make the world a better place. The jaded edges of my personality scoff at the thought, knowing full well each individual can only change the behavior of a single person – one’s self.

Some may choose to follow a path of comfort, ease, and convenience, others may endeavor to succeed regardless of the costs or harm they do, and yet a few will aspire to higher ideals. We can’t force anyone to open their minds and hearts to the world, but our lives would be lessened if we chose to close ours. No matter how often you stumble, or how many doors you slam, you have choices to make. Linger in idleness and apathy to regain some measure of blissful ignorance, or open yourself to both the pain and pleasure that life has to offer. Every day that choice comes by to check on me. I know my mind makes this world more complicated than it needs to be, and I’ll likely fail to reach my aspirations, but I’m not going to begrudge the journey and its experiences, either good or ill.