Romance, as I write it

A reinterpretation of the word and genre.

Love is at the core of my existence. I wish everyone could and would treat each other with love and respect, but sadly I’m fully aware that’s impossible. When I escape into the fantasy of stories, whether I’m the architect or just a visitor, relationships can either bind me to characters or divest me from the work at large.

Conflict and danger are going to show up in any decent story, but I’d prefer healthy loving relationships to deal with external threats. If you’re able to communicate honestly and openly because of trust and love, most of the drama and potential internal issues should be resolved without causing lasting harm to the relationship. Emotions might get in the way, feelings might get hurt, and yet true love is an indefatigable aegis.

There are many different types of love in the world, and I don’t remember them all, but here are some examples: erotic, affectionate, familiar, playful, obsessive, enduring, selfless, and selfish. When constructing characters, these different elements saturate their relationships. Some characters see their unions as pairs, others open their hearts and share these qualities with multiple partners. I can enjoy an unconventional love story, so long as the relationship is healthy from my perspective, and that’s what I often tend to write. I try to leave the destructive relationships for characters not destined for the protagonist role.

Admittedly, some of what I write is wish fulfillment, I desire for my main characters to experience true love. Many of my creations aspire to explore the subject of love in ways I may never, and if that takes them far from my own personal beliefs or desires, I’m proud to see where they wander. Being true to character comes first, so I’m not going to shy away from most taboo territory. In the privacy of my unpublished works, nothing is off limits. For various reasons, censorship happens, but what remains after editing should still reveal the breadth and depth of a relationship.

For my part, writing romance is about showing how love strengthens and motivates us, gives life meaning, and provides in ways we might never anticipate. You don’t need to be a hero for your loved ones, you already are. Instead, try to be a partner who loves and trusts, who can ask for help and offer it without considering an obligation or debt being owed. Be vulnerable. Yes you will get hurt, but there is far more joy than pain.